By Joe Torosian
“People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don’t know when to quit.”—George Allen
Note to Friends Living in Different Time Zones: I don’t want score updates before 3:PM Pacific! Kapeche?
Buccaneers 19, Cowboys 3:
Tiny Tim should never share the stage with Pavarotti…Brittany Spears should never get into a voice contest with Melissa Manchester…and Dak Prescott–for the sake of Jerry Jones’ ego–should never step on the field with Tom Brady.
Prescott won’t be back on the field with the thumb injury for six to eight weeks.
Maybe Dallas needs to reconsider the Jimmy Garopoolo?
Bears 19, 49ers 10
“Paging Jimmy G…Paging Jimmy G….Jimmy G…please report to wardrobe.”
Tell me, how does Kyle Shanahan stand in front of his veterans..whose clock is ticking…and tell them to be patient?
We said this weeks ago about Trey Lance. It may take more than a few weeks but an entire season for him to settle in.
Yes, the rain was bad, but the Chicago Bears aren’t going to the playoffs and likely to finish fourth in the NFC North.
Of course, I wanted Frisco to lose but seeing them pay a physical price for the win is good.
After all the offseason talk about Deebo Samuel not wanting to be a running back. He carries the ball eight times and scores a touchdown but fumbles once and takes several hits.
Still–we’ve shouted it before–not an elite receiver, Samuel only had two catches on eight targets.
Regarding the Bears, maybe because it was wet, perhaps because they were afraid of the 49ers’ defense, but for three quarters, the Bears displayed zero faith in Justin Fields.
Bills 31, Rams 10:
Joseph Noteboom—Strained MCL day to day.
Brian Allen—Knee “procedure” will miss 2-4 weeks.
Kyren Williams—Up to six weeks high ankle sprain.
Chiefs 44, Cardinals 21:
For the Cards, no shame in losing to Kansas City, but this is not the way to convince us they’re legit.
If the Chiefs miss Tyreek Hill, it didn’t look like it.
Chiefs fan, Jim Singiser: “It’s Week 1.”
Kyler Murray didn’t play badly. He just couldn’t make a difference. James Connor’s got mileage, and Hollywood Brown only averaged 10yds per catch.
Arizona’s defense had no sacks, no picks, and no tackles for loss.
Chargers 24, Raiders 19:
I like the Raiders, but if you’re a fan, it’s easy to say and harder to execute: “The offensive line needs to play better.”
Derek Carr was sacked five times. If anybody else were playing quarterback, the final score would have been 24-3.
As long as the Bolts stay healthy, they’re contenders.
Justin Herbert is just…wow.
Vikings 23, Packers 7:
Minnesota looks good, they pushed Aaron Rodgers around, and they can win the North. But nobody is afraid of playing them at home in January with a roof and heater in place.
Green Bay? I’ve had my doubts for a while. They should have cut ties with Rodgers last February.
I kept hearing how great the Packer defense was…one sack, no fumbles, no tackles for loss.
Giants 21, Titans 20:
I went to Tennessee Twitter for this one:
Titan fan Hunter Duran: “Holding on, Brewer screwed us at least twice. Kyle Phillips, while making some good plays, was inconsistent. Angry Titan Fan over here!!!!”
Titan fan Josh Ouellette: “#FireToddDowning… also… c’mon, Fat Randy!”
Note to G-Men: If Saquon Barkley plays well and wins…great. If Saquon Barkley plays well and they struggle? Trade him for a pick or two. (Rams, cough! Rams, cough!)
Ravens 24, Jets 9:
Report says Lamar Jackson was offered 6-years/290-Rocks…133 guaranteed. Kick it up to 150, or even 165, and call it a deal.
Because the Browns are foolish, it doesn’t mean the Ravens have to be.
The best stat line for Baltimore? Jackson 30 pass attempts, and six rushes.
I’ve still never met an honest-to-goodness Jets fan.
Eagles 38, Lions 35:
Nice win for Philly, but as a fan, I wouldn’t like Jalen Hurts running the ball 17 times.
Another one-possession loss for Detroit.
Steelers 23, Bengals 20 OT:
T.J. Watt hurt…Najee Harris rolls an ankle.
Turnovers, missed field goals…Pittsburgh was lucky to win but unlucky going forward. Any team with a decent offense would have blown Cincy out.
And maybe, we can slow the Joe Burrow roll.
Colts 20, Texans 20 OT:
I guess Carson Wentz wasn’t the entire problem in Indy.
Break me off some of that Davis Mills. Houston remains undefeated!
Saints 27, Falcons 26:
Hate the Saints. Happy for Jameis Winston, but I need to know what argument Marcus Lattimore was making at the end of the game after that personal foul.
Browns 26, Panthers 24:
Jacoby Brissett versus Baker Mayfield, and the difference was? Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt.
Dolphins 20, Patriots 7:
Maybe a running game before the Fins are crowned?
New England is just boring. Mac Jones’ suddenly suspect back doesn’t make them any more appealing, and Bill Belichick is descending.
TaxSkins 28, Jaguars 22:
Both teams will be better, and the NFC East is up for grabs.
The Dude abides…
2 Corinthians 10:5
Joe T. is the author of “Tangent Dreams: A High School Football Novel” … “Temple City & The Company of The Ages” … “The Dead Bug Tales” … “The Dark Norm” & “FaithViews for Storm Riders”…and, the recently released, “Sin Virus.” All six available through Amazon.com.
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